Lassi Confidence

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.'Hello,Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh fromPhagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform youthat we are officially declaring the war on you!''Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army''Rightnow,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, mycousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabadditeam from the gurudwara. That makes eight'Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.''Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.'Mr.Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is stillon! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!''And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh' Bush asked.'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'Bushsighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2million since we last spoke.''Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.'Mr.Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselvesairborne.... .. We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple ofshotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four schoolpass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'Bush was silentfor a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh,that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My militarycomplex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!''Tera pala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.''I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart''Well,'said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, anddecided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!'NOW THAT'S CALLED PUNJABI CONFIDENCE